Kitchen Anxiety Disorder
By: LeSashea Feagin
Featured Guest Blogger
Before I get started with my weekly guest posts, I must warn you, I am not a professional cooker-person whatever. I burn rice, vegetables, toast, meats, and all other manner edible nourishment. You name it, I’ve burnt it at some point in my sordid kitchen career.
Now, a normal person may be inspired to cook more. Try not to burn food in the future. Not I. I have what professionals call (by professionals, I mean me) Kitchen Anxiety Disorder (KAD). One failure is enough to keep me away from making that particular dish forever. I have not baked a brownie since The Brownie Incident of 2007. I am still not ready to talk about it.
My KAD may also be fueled by my peculiar brand of feminism. It just feels so anti-everything-I-claim-to-believe to stay in the kitchen for more than 45 minutes for meal preparation. And by “meal preparation”, I mean all three meals and the two snacks that I should eat per day should be completed in 45 minutes. I should walk in the kitchen at 7 AM and have breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner complete before 7:45 AM. I realize this is unrealistic, but the professionals (read: I) have come to the conclusion this is best for me.
I do have people who love me and help me manage my disorder. I can usually count on dinner and a take-home plate out of family members or close, loving friends if I ask in advance. A few love cooking so much that they are willing to accept my raw ingredients and prepare an entire meal for me to take home. My husband, bless his soul, loves to cook. I haven’t yet convinced myself that I love him for more than that quality. Then there are restaurants. Those places where you can go in, choose whatever you would like, pay money, and walk out fat. They. Are. Magic.
This lifestyle is expensive, though. Either I am driving to deliver ingredients, pick up cooked food, deciding where I want to eat (and then paying for it!), tipping waitresses, or somehow investing much more than my income says is prudent in obtaining and consuming food. I can’t just not eat. I have two children who would miss me and probably hate me for “abandoning” them by meeting an early and totally avoidable demise.
For the sake of my budget, my children, my health, and my independence, I have decided to take tackle my KAD. I will be venturing into the kitchen, with caution. I will try to stay within the guidelines my doctor has strongly suggested: 45 minutes (maximum) of kitchen time each trip into the kitchen. I will be sharing my management techniques as I stumble upon new ways to make these guidelines work. Maybe next week I’ll let you know all about my weapons against KAD, huh? You’ll just have to tune in to find out. See you in seven days.